The “Gap”

 Life does not have to be like this!!!

In order to make time for what is important in your life, you will need to reduce the amount of urgent tasks that are taking up your time.

If you live your life with a high amount of urgency, it may be automatic for you to be accommodating to others, simply because you react too quickly to their requests. You may not give yourself time to think the request through. If a request immediately sets your adrenaline running and causes you to feel anxious, this is usually a clear indication that you are reacting to something that is urgent but not important. 

“Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” Anonymous

The ‘gap’ is an excellent tool to use to help you decide whether you are being confronted with an urgent or important request.

The gap is simply that: a gap in time between action and reaction, ensuring that you never compromise on what is important to you with someone else’s urgency. Using the gap eliminates saying “yes” when you should have said “no”. 

When an urgent request is made of you that clashes with what you consider important in your life, consider using one of these responses:

“I am not sure what I have on. I will look in my diary and give you a call tomorrow.”

“Yes I can, just not at that particular time. I will get back to you with a time that suits”.           

There is no need to feel as though you are doing an injustice to a loved one, shirking a responsibility or being selfish. It is necessary to take care of yourself to prevent becoming mentally and physically exhausted.

Let me know if you feel you have more control over your life when using the “Gap”

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4 Responses to The “Gap”

  1. Great post. I spend a lot of time teaching people the Art of Saying No! If they can’t manage “No!” then I suggest “Not Now!”. It is an essential skill.

  2. Sue Murphy says:

    Love this quote Tracey. “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” Anonymous
    There are so many in my life that like me to rescue them….mostly because they failed to plan!! This explains it so well.
    Thanks.

    • tracey says:

      Hi Sue, I have also been guiltly of living my life this way and what a relief to learn that I can set boundaires and respond in my own time. I also learned that when I was in my rescuer role I was often disabling people by doing things for them rather than allowing them to take responsibility and work it out for themselves.

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