I Should Have Said “NO”

For many years I lived my life like a “mouse on wheel” leaving no time for me.

 I was a “Yes” girl.

I was exhausted and burnt out trying to be everything to everybody until the day I had a an AHA moment in a therapy session. I realised that when someone made a request of me, my automatic response was “yes”. I didn’t think about the request or the consequences for myself or my family. I was focused on not letting the other person down. I ended up exhausted, stressed, burnt out and depressed because I had said “yes” when I should have said “no”.

After my AHA moment I made a commitment to make some changes in my life in order to create some space to look after myself. I realised I had to set some boundaries in order to firstly cope and secondly achieve my goals and dreams.

As I learned to set boundaries , I began to find a better balance between my needs and other people’s. After a while I noticed that people no longer assumed I would drop everything to do what they wanted and this has encouraged a healthy respect for my time, both from them and from myself. 

Don’t be afraid of using the word “NO”, it can change your world.

 

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8 Responses to I Should Have Said “NO”

  1. Love it when people start taking responsibility for their own happiness & peace of mind!! Well done Tracey xxx

  2. I know this one well. Fortunately I have retrained myself around this and sent my martyr gene packing. Most of the time now I say yes when I want to. Having healthy boundaries around your time and energy is essential.

  3. Kama says:

    I read an article in my 20’s that talked about how it was ok to say no without having to give a reason. This was the start of my journey to saying NO. Boundaries are very important so well done for creating some.

    • tracey says:

      Hi Karma, yes it is very liberating. I wish I had started saying “no” a bit earlier in my life, it would have been so much more peaceful. Congratulations on taking “no” on board nice and early.

  4. Toni-Louise says:

    Oh thank you Tracey for this post. I am a “yes” girl (have been all my life) and am trying to retrain and be more conscious of not just saying yes to please everyone, but considering myself more when I am given the yes, I’ll do it scenario… and thinking “do I really want to say yes?” Do I have to say yes?

    Kama, thank you too for mentioning the saying no with the reason scenario. That is something that stops me saying NO… because I think I have to think of a reason.. I have to justify why I said no. Tracey me too…wish I would have started saying “no” earlier too like Kama did.. I do feel like it has burnt me out in many ways over the years too.

    Now I am going to just say NO – and not give it a second thought apart from knowing I have set a new boundary and for that I will feel better about creating some space for me in my life. 🙂

    • tracey says:

      Hi Toni-Louise, you will love it!!! When you say “no” and then realise that you now have all that time to yourself you will feel like doing a “happy dance”. Enjoy!!!

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